This is a term that my father gave me growing up, it refers to a scenario where one person is really nervous about a situation, in our case it was always me who was nervous but he made me believe that it was actually him who was nervous. This was done to force me in a leadership role and keep him calm but in reality he was in control from the start, he used the kayak example to explain to me that if we were both nervous and start shaking the kayak, we would both fall in the water but if one of us is confident, we would end up fine. This wasn’t done to trick me as I knew what he meant but it was done as a reminder to change my perception on whatever issue I had on front of me.
Now, how is this applicable to you as business owner during COVID-19 ? I’ve seen business owners openly freaking out on social media, countless of tears on Instagram stories, sharing more content on industry forums than they’ve ever done prior to this pandemic with fear, Whilst is natural to panic and healthy to express yourself, it’s during these times like this that the only person that should be only be allowed to panic is the client, let them express themselves, it’s now time for you to let them know that you can control whatever wave comes whilst you are paddling through the waves of this pandemic. Different clients have different personalities and process things different, making it differently for you and I’ve found two reactions that seem to appear common when communicating with my clients.
The first one is the “we are fucked” or as Bradly Cooper says in The Hangover movies “This time, we really fucked up”. This reaction is the first one I’ve encountered as being Australian, The pandemic decided to enter during the peak of the wedding season, leaving couples with no time to prepare alternatives to their event as government forced for weddings to be of no more than 5 people including witness. imagine planning an event for 12-16 months and be told at the finish line that it can no longer go ahead? I’ve had brides that have emotionally broken down and decided cancel the whole wedding as it was too much for them. \
This reaction is totally understandable, I believe the only thing one can do when a wedding is in the timeline that it’s impossible to go ahead or restrictions are in place that will change the event from how it was suppose to be, is to have a conversation on how the client is feeling. I had a bride who had a wedding of 250 people, when I contacted her, the government had a ban of no indoor events to be with more than 100 people, During this time I gave a bride call to chat how she felt and how everything was, she realized that a wedding where everyone was concern for their safety is not what she wanted, let along with only 100 people. Little did we both know 24hrs after that conversation the government forced the 5 people wedding rule…. yep, every bride and wedding vendor had a Bradly Cooper moment.
The second type of reaction is the “I’m fine” moment by Ross Geller, which are client’s that have weddings that are 8 months away, Now most wedding vendors friends are not actually getting in touch with clients that have events 8 months away, I pushed my European vendors friends to do so as I've seen the what happens when this pandemic really hits the wedding industry really hard but even they tend to think that it should all be fine by the European summer.
When the client is telling you that “things should be fine by summer” it’s not a cue for you to relax and think “if the client is fine, then everything is sweet”.They are not thinking rationally, remember; they’ve spent a lot of late night hours planning their big day and they are happy to ignore other variables and don’t think of the possibility that the government might shut things down… even their wedding day.
The beauty of approaching clients during this stage is that you are able to tell clients the reality of possible outcomes, it’s not a time to sugar coat things but it’s a time to reassure them that you have your shit together, it’s the moment when you are both about to embark on the kayak and you tell them “water is going to be rough but it can also be calm, as long as you are aware of what’s coming”, I’ve had clients look at all the possibilities how their day can be and most of them have postpone by at least 12 months.
Wedding planning is a team effort, it takes everyone to pull everything together, if expectations are talked through, everyone can prepare for multiple outcomes.
Keep the kayak steady.